Realisation

It's weird how one can create an internet persona
that is entirely different to what they are in real life.
The fact that it could be very very believable is what that scares me most...
like how many times have you ever fell in love/hated the person
for what they post/pose online?

I could have the face of an angel and
the morals of Zeus but that doesn't matter if no black mark is posted online isn't it?

I choose to believe something heartbreaking that I recently realised...
"True" love don't exist. I mean it's possible to have the love of the current day but
the're not gonna stay for the lifetime aren't they?
People get married and divorced and remarried again...
Usually, they feel that their current relationship is the "best" one so far...
either because things are more manageable (same shit but with a better person)
or maybe because they cannot admit that the last one's better... because they expected less anyway.

So what is the meaning of marriage when time is the factor that is constantly changing?
Time can do a lot of damage... love will fade as it is not something new between them
time will change opinions
health
looks (of course)
habits
personalities
interests

...

the right to give a fuck too.

This isn't a healthy thought but it is still a thought, nonetheless.

solitary

Sometimes I wish that I would take more risks in my life and in my work
but I hate to go somewhere I don't know/

I wished I had lived off of my youth instead of acting like
a fucking adult most of the time/

but that wouldn't be me would it?